Motivation Monday: Oklahoma Mental Health Expert's Tips On Setting Goals

As we go further into 2025, many of us have set goals to better ourselves this year.

Many people say they find a renewed sense of determination in the new year, and joining the News 9 team Monday morning to share how we can manage those goals successfully is Remerge CEO Erin Engelke.

Q: Why do some people, particularly women, have a new sense of determination when it comes to New Year's resolutions?

Engelke: "I think it's funny when it comes to women. We are very inclined to listen to what other people say we should do, and when the year turns, we somehow think that we need to do what everybody else is doing and set a New Year's resolution. There's nothing wrong with that, but making sure that we're doing it for the right reasons and with goals in mind that matter to us, that's the most important."

Q: How can women healthily manage those goals?

Engelke: "I always like to say, your personal preference doesn't become my biblical absolute. What works for you may not work for me, and vice versa. Oftentimes people will make a New Year's resolution based on something negative, like, 'I'm gonna stop eating junk food.' Well, if you go into the day and you're thinking 'I just can't eat junk food,' your mindset is focused [on the] negative. Instead of not eating junk food, say, 'I'm going to focus on eating fruits and vegetables.'"

Q: What advice do you have for women struggling to keep their resolutions?

Engelke: "Dig deep and seek to understand for yourself why you feel that way. I'm sure the way you grew up was very different than mine, but for some reason along the way, we've had these seeds of knowledge planted in our heads that say that we need to conform to a certain look or body type or whatever. Every single person is very different, my body is very different from yours, and that's perfect. That's the way that it should be. So digging deep to figure out why that matters so much to you, and then figuring out what works best for you not because somebody else said you should run five miles a day, but because you want to be healthy."

Q: How do you celebrate some of those small victories?

Engelke: "I always say we don't do enough celebrating in life, and we have a tendency to celebrate the really big things. That's beautiful and special, but we need to be celebrating the small things. If you did indeed eat a fruit and vegetable every day this week, then let's celebrate that. Celebration doesn't mean having food either, sometimes we look to celebration as a reward, and it doesn't have to be that way. You can celebrate with friends or pick up a new book or something that you've been looking forward to."

Q: I like that you talk about visualizing success, how does that play in your mind?

Engelke: "I think sometimes we get tunnel vision, and we only focus on the short term, versus looking at where do I want to be, let's say, two weeks from now or even tomorrow. It could be very short term, and focusing on what that looks like, mindset is absolutely everything. Our brain has such the power of control over the decisions that we make."